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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

He's going to hate us for this one day

Children are born to endure torture and embarrassment from their parents. Garrett and I are prepared to take this responsibility as far as it will go, and we haven’t wasted time getting started.

I’ve included here for your viewing pleasure a little video Garrett took of Michael at six days old. A little background: this video was taken in the morning right after I’d nursed Michael. I left him in his daddy’s care while I got ready for the day. Garrett, ever the proud father, believes that it’s always a good time to take a picture or a recording of the little one. So he grabbed his Blackberry and recorded these moments for posterity.

You’ll hear Garrett’s voice in the background, but I firmly stand by the conviction that there are two sides to every situation and both sides should be heard. As mommy, I am all powerful and can read my son like no one else. So I’ve also provided a transcript of Michael’s thoughts while this video is being taken.

Wow, I passed out. I wonder if anyone noticed. Where am I? Eh, who cares. I’ll just enjoy the moment.

Aaah, clean diaper, soft sheets, full belly…life doesn’t get better than this. If only I could tune out that guy I could pass out again. Maybe if I close my eyes he’ll stop.

It’s working!

Wait, spoke too soon. What the heck, he means well. The forehead massage is kind of nice. I was worried for a second there that he’d get my soft spot, but it’s all good. Hey you, do it again, just stop talking.

He’s not going to stop. That’s ok. I’ll pay him back tonight when he’s the one sleeping. Heh heh heh. Yeah, that’s right, chucklehead. Laugh it up. I’ve got plans.

Oh no, slipping back into the milk coma. What does that woman eat? Someone should really talk to her about her diet….

Ok, I’m back. There he is again. Still talking. Yaaaaawn. The things I have to put up with. Wait…what? What is that thing?! Get that thing out of my face! You don’t know who you’re dealing with! I’m telling you, I will cut you!

Ok, you called my bluff. I don’t have enough muscle control to cut anybody, but what I do have is a full belly. So I’ll show you! This diaper isn’t staying clean for much longer! WATCH THIS, FUNNY GUY!!!

That’s my boy.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Baby Michael may wish he was deaf


My husband totally stole my thunder as a lullaby singer.

I used to daydream about singing to my baby, knowing that my child would be too young to judge my voice. But, proving that “the best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew”, I married a professional singer (AKA The Singing Financial Advisor). I promise you, even a two-month-old can tell the difference between Garrett’s trained voice and my out-of-tune croaks.

But I got over it. In part because the dream wouldn’t die, but mostly because the older I get, the less I care about looking ridiculous (and it’s a good thing, let me tell you, or I’d never leave the house). Please allow me to share with you my repertoire.

  1. “Jesus Loves You”
    This would be the ever popular “Jesus loves me, this I know…”, but I replace the “me” with “you”. I was inspired by that great piece of television history, “Touched By an Angel”. I always get shivers at the end when Monica lights up like a Christmas tree and tells some wayward soul “God loves you!” I watched a lot of “Touched By an Angel” on my maternity leave and realized that Michael needed to hear that God loves him, and often. Adapting “Jesus Loves Me” seemed like the most child-friendly way to do that.
  2. “Baby Mine”
    I cried the first time I sang this to Michael. I dare you to watch this video without tearing up. 
  3. “I’ll Love You Forever”
    One of my best friends gave me the book I’ll Love You Forever as a baby shower gift. I cried the first time I read it to Michael. (Yes, again. I’m such a mess.) In the book, the mother sings the following to her son: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” I made up a little melody to go with the words and sing it to Michael when I’m feeling sweet. It makes for a tender moment between mother and son, even though Michael doesn’t know what the heck I’m saying.
  4. “Swinging on a Star”
    Garrett used to sing this song to my belly when I was pregnant. He had some of his choirs sing it when he was a choir director, and it remains one of his faves. Garrett sang it to Michael right after he was born while he was getting checked out by the nurses, and I promise you that Michael recognized it! He quieted down right away. Since it worked such wonders right after birth, I’ve insisted that Garrett sing it to the baby many times since then. So maybe it isn’t so much one of his favorites anymore, after all. Anyway, I don’t sing this one because Garrett does it soooo much better than me. And I can’t be bothered to learn the words. I get so confused and mix up the mule and fish and whatever other critters are in the song. It’s just too much for my brain to handle.


So there you have it. Three songs sung by Mommy and one by Daddy. Go to Missy’s blog for more lullaby ideas!