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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Falling In Love

I sat on my balcony in the darkness, ignoring the parking lot below in favor of the moon and scattered stars above. The moon – what a good idea! The genius of a heavenly night light provides both beauty and function. After noticing the change in position from the night before, I moved my attention from the moon to the few stars visible in the city’s glow. I saw three stars in a row – surely they must be part of a constellation…

These internal dialogues were the catalyst for a sweet relationship with the Creator. I learned what it was to delight in Him by enjoying and acknowledging the genius of His creation. Wonder over creation in general moved to wonder over being created. “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?” (Psalm 8:3-4) My trust in His love and care for me grew until I was confident that He would not keep anything good from me.
Including marriage.

I approached my Creator with my desire to marry. Every night in my prayer journal I wrote, “Please send my husband soon.”

And something unexpected happened.

My prayers transformed from pleading requests to confident expectation. On August 27, 2006, I wrote, “I feel like the Beloved in Song of Songs 5 – my heart is awake. I feel as if I’m ready to fall in love. First waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, but I am.”

As I waited, an image formed in my head of the type of man that I wanted to be with. On November 2, 2006, I wrote that I would like “someone that adores me, that respects me, that I can respect, smart, smiles, loves Jesus, loves his church, loves animals, friendly. Love of music would be a plus. But, most of all, someone that You have designed for me and that You have designed me for.”

And how would I meet this man? On October 3, 2006, I wrote, “Pease send my husband soon. I have the feeling that it will be in a way that I don’t expect.” Truer words were never spoken! Although out-of-character for me, I grew excited about the idea of online dating. This was so unusual for me that I knew that the Holy Spirit had a hand in it. God was up to something.

In November of 2006, I embarked on an online dating adventure. A friend took some pictures and I posted them along with an “I want only Jesus boys” profile. At first things didn’t look good. Most of the men that contacted me were decidedly NOT Jesus boys, and I couldn’t dredge up much enthusiasm for the others. But Garrett contacted me two weeks into the process. He was the first and last of my online dates.

Garrett and I were married six months ago today. Our lovey-dovey behavior often prompts people to ask if we’re newlyweds, which we are, but I suspect that we will always be cheesy in love. I respect Garrett for his character, intelligence, musical talent, and work ethic. I adore his smiling blue eyes, dimples, and generous smile. His humor is medicine to me, his voice my music, and his arms my home. I am proud to be Mrs. Garrett Thomas Maddox. I love you, sweetie. Thank you for asking me to be your wife. It all began with me learning to delight in God, and now He’s teaching me how to delight in you. I pray that He gives us many years to delight in each other.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalm 37:4)